Grain Free Coconut or Almond Bread

Why would you want to got to the effort of making grain free bread? Well, grains tend to make my glands puff up so my face looks freaky, and after eating them I often just want to nap.
 There's also a lot of other reasons people avoid grains. I still haven't made up my mind if I should eliminate them completely. But that's not for a particular reason. I'm often like that.

Yeah that's Vegemite. I'm Australian. I like beer and Vegemite. 

Also this recipe isn't vegan. You just can't have everything in life. Anyway, I've got you guys covered in a previous bread recipe. Here's a link so you don't have to search for it, you lazy vegan bread eaters (Love you).


If you like your bread made of ....bread...stuff.... (wheat, rye, spelt, rice... IDK) don' stop reading! You could add a sweetener and others stuff (banana, apple and cinnamon, chocolate....) to this and make it cake!
Coconut cake! YUM.
*Update* Sub in 2 bananas for 2 of the eggs, add a touch of honey and spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves etc) and you have the best banana bread I have ever tasted. I swear on my cat I am not exaggerating. I'll post a separate recipe soon! { here it is! }

Wow!
I've got everyone covered.

Except if you don't like coconut. {Wait, now I have you covered too. I made an almond version which I think I may even like better }

Also, don't ask me how much coconut butter this uses. I don't know. The last jar of coconut butter I saw cost about $27. The packet of coconut I bought cost about $1.80. If you really want to know, send me a jar and I'll test it out for you. Win-win.

One last thing. I used lots of raiser-ers. Raiseners. Raising Agents. I wanted the damn thing to rise. You could just use one type. I give you permission.

Coconut/Almond bread

250g Desiccated coconut {OR 3 Cups Almond meal}
3 eggs
1/4 C milk + {1/2 tbs flax +1/2 tbs chia bran or a tbs of just one of these} ( or skip all this and use another egg)
1/2 tbs baking powder
1/2 tbs bicarb
1/2 tbs apple cider vinegar.

First, whizz the coconut in your processor until a butter forms (it takes about 10 mins on and off in my Oskar)
{If you're using almonds, whizz until the meal starts to clump together}
add the eggs  and extra "egg" one by one, processing in between.
Add the raising stuff. Process.

Done! No wait, you have to bake it too. You might want to grease your tin. Bake for about 45 mins at 200c.

I say "about" because my oven is crazy stupid. It's an all in one sort of thing. Seems to cook cupcakes perfectly in the right amount of time but everything else takes about double. Go figure.
But I digress.

Take you bread out of the oven (when it's cooked). Be sure to use something to not burn your hands. You may have left the tea towel on your desk. Tea towels like to travel.

Cool on a rack.

Next: I have a brownie batter ice cream recipe on the way. Or should I share my favourite chickpea chocolate cake recipe? Either way, they both involve chocolate. Guess you can't lose.

Brown Rice Cookie Dough Dip

My cupboard is pretty empty at the moment. My fridge is pretty empty at the moment. But I had a big container of cooked brown rice, and a craving for cookie dough.
A basic google search found no other recipes similar, so don't ask me how I thought of this.

This is as good as the chickpea cookie dough you may have seen floating around the internet. It sure beats anything I've tried making from anything else (almonds, cashews, coconut). I think I may even like it more than the chickpea version, 'cos that tends to give me a massive tummy ache from eating too much. And let's be honest, I'm always going to eat too much cookie dough.

The first time I made this, it was near perfect. The second time I tried putting protein powder in and it ruined it. Third time, well, I think I may still have a tummy ache.

The type of sugar you use is important here- you can't use stevia, honey, agave etc and expect the right consistency. Adding brown sugar brings about a crazy different change, you can see in the photo below the two different consistencies; the top has honey, the bottom has brown sugar.  The only way I have found to make this healthier and still get the right consistency is by using soaked dates.
Simply soak dates in some water for a few hours, then puree them with some of the water into a paste. Use this in place of the sugar.

Brown Rice Cookie Dough Dip

Gluten Free, dairy free, vegan *sugar free option*

1 1/2 Cup Cooked brown rice

Pinch of salt

2 tsp vanilla

1/3 Cup Nut butter ( I used peanut butter of course)

Sweetener , about 1/2 Cup (brown sugar or date paste to taste; see note above)

1/3 Cup choc chips

Blend everything except choc-chips in a food processor very well until smooth, tasting for amount of sweetness. Add choc-chips.

I made some of this into cookie dough cups- yummmm.

A lot of it didn't make it to the cups....